Raising a Self-Disciplined Child

July 16, 2007
Brooks and Goldstein (Raising Resilient Children
) note that a key component of resiliency is self-discipline. It’s so essential, in fact, that the authors devote their new text entirely to fostering its development in children. They begin by pointing out that discipline is a teaching process. A disciplinarian, they state, is not a parent who punishes or intimidates, and the goal is not to produce compliant, obedient kids. Rather, the objective is to keep children safe, help them learn self-discipline and become responsible for their own actions and choices. The authors reveal that spanking and other authoritarian methods work against this process. As an alternative, they offer a number of approaches parents can take to instill self-discipline and help children appropriately control their own lives, such as offering choices, letting kids come up with solutions and giving positive feedback. The authors employ a series of detailed case studies to illustrate (regrettably, these are tediously heavy-handed and needlessly drawn out). Still, the book provides practical tools for creating healthier families and self-disciplined kids. Parents who are weary of nagging and threatening will no doubt welcome the authors’ tried and true tactics.

August 1, 2007
Resilient people can cope with what life throws their way; parents can help children develop a resilient mindset, an important aspect of which is self-discipline. Brooks and Goldstein (coauthors, "Raising Resilient Children") write and speak often about resilience. Here, they advise parents on teaching children self-discipline, an ability to control oneself and understand the effects of actions. Like many parent educators, the authors emphasize that discipline is teaching, not punishing, and is most effective in an environment of empathy and unconditional love. Furthermore, recognizing a child's strengths, or "islands of competence," encourages success and therefore results in better behavior. They illustrate their suggestions with numerous case studies of families they have helped, right down to the details on helpful phrases to use with children in certain situations. Nothing here is groundbreaking (e.g., authoritative parenting works best, children need to learn from mistakes), but the examples of families who achieve success could reassure frustrated parents. Recommended for larger parenting collections.Janet Clapp, Athens-Clarke Cty. Lib., GA

Copyright 2007 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.